An asshole for the forces of good. (unkyrich) wrote in fanatic_hate,
An asshole for the forces of good.

My favorite topic

I promise I'll be posting on a new topic soon.

Anyway, I finally saw what the whole "If you [blank] a woman [other words], don't rape her" thing was all about.

See, this was the missing piece of the puzzle for me. HOWEVER - at the bottom of the article in the link, there's a list of general safety tips.

And if any woman tells me that this is blaming the victim - I do these things myself. I try to avoid dangerous looking areas, I keep aware of my surroundings, I don't get in vehicles with strangers, and I don't let strangers into my home - unless I have a bunch of scary friends over.

This isn't living paranoid - its living smart.

It'll protect you from the crimes that involve strangers. It won't help much for the crimes that involve people you think you should be able to trust. And that's the bigger issue.
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I actually assumed it was a different e-mail. I regularly get one that proports to tell women what rapists look for. Supposedly, convicted rapists were spoken to and these are tips from them.

I never get offended by it. Whether I believe all the tips or not, I always feel that the person who sends it to me is someone who cares and doesn't want me to get raped - would like to be safe. Again, it has more to do with violent random rape than date rape or rape by people you know, but I have never once been offended by it - no more than I am offended by the police man who says if I am walking through a parking lot alone, have my keys between my knuckles so if I have to hit I can do some damage. Sure, the suggestion there is I'm small and cutting would do more damage than me punching - but I do punch like a girl... :;shrugs:: is fact. (Trust me, I can sword fight, but I have the hardest time throwing a good punch).
I took the original post as someone frustrated at getting that particular spam a few times too many. General safety tips are great for everyone, so why are they so frequently chain lettered as "here's how to avoid rape!" when, as you point out, said safety tips aren't very useful against people you think you should be able to trust-so the large category of date rape, etc. isn't addressed. Plus, the supposed anti-rape safety tip e-mails often include tips that actually do nothing to address safety such as, "don't dress provocatively" "don't go out drinking." this starts to get irritating when you keep seeing it float through your inbox.

There are e-mails with decent safety tips, the common sense stuff you mention about being wary of people you don't know. But when they're labelled as rape-avoidance tips, not general safety it contributes to a atmosphere of fear for women that isn't actually useful. Why not label it "general safety tips" or something of the sort.

The blaming the victim thing stems from labelling safety tips as anti-rape tips, including 'tips' like those I mentioned above that really are blaming the victim, and the fact that some of the emails really try to cover so much stuff that they start to sound like, "if only you do everything right, you won't get raped." It's a emotional subject and people do get torqued about it.